00:00 – Why Does This Keep Happening?!
01:40 – The Weird Ways Your Ex Still Sneaks Into Your Mind
02:37 – The REAL Reason You Can’t Let Go
06:02 – The 8 Stages of Heartbreak Recovery—Which One Are You Stuck In?
16:05 – The Science of Heartbreak: Your Brain on Love (and Withdrawal!)
21:34 – Unfinished Business: What You Need for REAL Closure
29:35 – How to Finally Move On—For GOOD
34:39 – Next Steps & How I Can Help You

How to Get Out of a Slump and Back to Being YOU

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How to Get Out of a Slump and Back to Being YOU

Have you ever found yourself staring at a sink full of dishes, wearing the same pair of pajama pants for the third day in a row, wondering, “What even is my life right now?” If so, I see you. I’ve been there too even as a therapist. We all fall into a slump sometimes. And while it might not be glamorous or fun, it is 100% human.

In a recent episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I took a deep dive into the all-too-relatable experience of being in a slump. Why it happens, how to know if it’s “just a slump” or something more serious, and most importantly—how to get back on track.

Slumps Happen—Here’s Why That’s Okay

Let’s start with some radical permission: It’s normal to go through phases when you’re just not feeling it.

Life isn’t one long motivational TED Talk. Sometimes we feel happy and energized, other times we feel…meh. That’s the human pendulum swing. And instead of beating ourselves up, our job is to recognize when we’ve slipped into the meh-zone—and gently guide ourselves back.

The Difference Between a Slump and Depression

Before we talk strategy, let’s make sure we’re in the right lane. A slump is when your energy is off, your habits are wobbly, and your motivation has ghosted you—but you’re still functioning.

Clinical depression is a whole different beast. If you’re feeling hopeless, worthless, or like you can’t do anything to improve your life, you might be dealing with more than just a slump. And you deserve help that works. In that case, getting support from a licensed therapist for depression will be crucial for your wellbeing. If you’re feeling this way, I invite you to schedule a free consultation with one of our incredible therapists here at Growing Self. They can give you the right support and help you find your way to healing.

If you’re not sure which camp you’re in, you can also talk to a member on our team to discuss what your best path forward would be when you schedule a consultation.

Why You Might Be in a Slump And Don’t Even Know It

Slumps are sneaky. They often don’t announce themselves with a dramatic breakdown. It’s more like one day you wake up and realize you haven’t felt like yourself in weeks.

Most people get stuck because they wait to “feel better” before they take action. But here’s the truth: feelings follow thoughts and behaviors. Not the other way around.

You don’t feel motivated and then clean your house. You clean your house—and then you feel a little more like a functioning adult. Feelings aren’t the starting point—they’re the destination.

How to Get Out of a Slump

Okay, now that you know what a slump is and why you’re in one, let’s talk about how to actually climb out of it. 

Step 1: Know Your Slump Signals

Every slump has a calling card—it’s just a matter of learning to spot yours.

Ask yourself: “What do I do (or stop doing) when I’m starting to slide?”

For some people, it’s Netflix paralysis (scrolling for an hour, watching nothing). For others, it’s junk food dinners, ignored texts, or an apartment that suddenly looks like a college dorm after finals week.

Your mission: identify your early warning signs. These are your personal indicators that it’s time to intervene before the slump takes full control.

Step 2: Find the “Why”

Slumps don’t happen randomly. They’re usually your mind and body waving little red flags and saying, “Hey, something’s not working.”

Here are some common culprits:

  • Burnout: You’ve been hustling too hard and your system is fried.
  • Transitions: New job? New baby? New zip code? Even good change is still change.
  • Seasonal Mood Dip: Winter blues are a thing. Less sun = less serotonin.
  • Disappointments: Something didn’t go as planned, and now you’re deflated.
  • Routine Disruptions: Travel, illness, a schedule shake-up—these throw off your groove.
  • Lifestyle Drift: You stopped doing the things that keep you grounded (sleep hygiene, movement, connection).

Jot down your hunches. Ask yourself: “If I had to guess what’s dragging me down, what would it be?” Don’t overthink it. This is more detective work than diagnosis.Bonus tool: Take my free “What’s Holding You Back?” quiz to get even more insight into what’s going on under the hood.

Clarity and Confidence
in 8 Weeks? Yes, You Can.

You’re ready for growth and motivated to create real change — and here’s the good news: You don’t have to do it alone.

With the Clarity & Confidence Coaching Package, you’ll work one-on-one with an experienced therapist, trained in evidence-based coaching psychology at a fraction of the cost. It’s an affordable, empowering way to create meaningful, lasting change.

Step 3: Choose Your Reset Route (Thoughts vs. Actions)

Now we get to the juicy part—how to actually start climbing out of this thing. And here’s the secret sauce: you need to know if your entry point is mental or behavioral.

There are two paths out of a slump:

  • The Thought Route: You’re stuck in negative, discouraging thinking that’s dragging you down. Reframing your mindset, challenging unhelpful beliefs, and shifting your internal narrative is your golden ticket.
  • The Behavior Route: You’re not doing the things that help you feel good. Getting back into movement, structure, healthy habits, and real-life action will reignite your energy.

Don’t worry if you’re not sure which applies to you—often it’s a mix. But knowing where to start gives you traction.

Step 4: Use the “Five-Minute Rule”

When you’re in a slump, everything feels like too much. So let’s take the pressure way, way down.

Pick one thing that supports the version of you that feels good—and do it for just five minutes.

That’s it. Five. Not fifty. Not forever.

  • Set a timer and tidy one drawer.
  • Stretch or walk around the block.
  • Prep something healthy-ish (no judgment if it’s a smoothie and chips).
  • Text a friend just to say hi.
  • Put on real pants. (Optional. Encouraged.)

What you’re doing is flipping the switch from inertia to momentum. Five minutes turns into ten. One drawer leads to a cleaner kitchen. A hello text turns into a coffee date. That’s the magic.

Step 5: Build a Micro-Routine That Works for You

You don’t need a full life overhaul. But you do need a bit of structure in your daily routine to keep that momentum going.

Ask yourself:

  • When in the day do I have the most energy?
  • What are the non-negotiable things that help me feel good?
  • What’s one daily action I can commit to—even if it’s small?

Start there. Whether it’s a morning walk, 10 minutes of journaling, or shutting off screens by 10 p.m.—choose consistency over perfection. Think of it as brushing your teeth for your soul.

Want More Support?

If you’re ready for a real, lasting reset—come join me and my amazing team in the Clarity & Confidence Coaching Program. This is where the magic happens. Together, we’ll help you reconnect with your sense of purpose, build habits that actually support the life you want, and shift the unhelpful thoughts that have been keeping you stuck. It’s not about a temporary mood boost—it’s about creating true, sustainable transformation from the inside out.

You don’t have to figure it out alone. We’re here to walk with you every step of the way, with expert guidance, powerful tools, and the kind of compassionate accountability that makes real growth possible.

Schedule your free consultation now and let’s start building your breakthrough together.

If you’re enjoying what we’re exploring here and want more inspiration, support, and strategies to help you grow, I’d love for us to stay connected. You can follow me on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel where I share thoughtful videos on everything from emotional wellness to creating meaningful change in your life. Each week I share resources to help you live with clarity, confidence, and joy—and I’d be so glad to have you there with me.

Xoxo
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

P.S. Do you know someone who’s stuck in a slump right now? Forward this to them. Be their spark. You never know how much a little encouragement can change someone’s whole week. 

Resources:

Damasio, A. R. (2004, April). Emotions and feelings. In Feelings and emotions: The Amsterdam symposium (Vol. 5, pp. 49-57). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=McrLCgAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA49&dq=+feelings+follow+thoughts+and+behaviors&ots=Ahmusqw0IE&sig=2VJQAjqnJaHOCIbb1rKTuXkSVCw

Wood, W., Quinn, J. M., & Kashy, D. A. (2002). Habits in everyday life: thought, emotion, and action. Journal of personality and social psychology, 83(6), 1281. https://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/83/6/1281/

Weisner, T. S. (2010). Well-being, chaos, and culture: Sustaining a meaningful daily routine. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2009-08920-013

Therapy Questions, Answered.

Our expert therapists have generously created an entire library of articles, activities, and podcasts to support you on your journey of growth. Please visit our “Happiness Collections” to browse our content collections, and take advantage of all the free resources we have for you. Or, if you’d like to educate yourself about the process and logistics of therapy, please help yourself to our “therapy questions” knowledge base below. It’s all for you!

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